I’m a mother. I have had two children.
My body shows the signs of those two births, saggy breasts and stretch marks. My tummy has, what is commonly referred to know as, a foopa.
I’ve never been thin. I have a large rear end, and my fat seems to accumulate in my thighs. My age, and weight, have caused my arm fat to wave as I move my arms around.
I want to feel sexy and attractive, not only to my husband, but to myself as well. I want my body to be a symbol of that sexiness. But it’s difficult for me to feel that way when I see all of these issues in the mirror.
I am a mother. These issues are a part of what I have done to bring these two beautiful human beings into the world.
I’m going to go on a new journey to explore and respect my body. Becoming confident and finding the beauty in what my body has accomplished.
I may not be attractive to everyone, but who is?
The point of this journey is not to become attractive to others, but to become attractive to myself. In my mind I must believe what I’m doing.
There is so much to be found on this voyage, and I’m going to start with respecting that my body has created life.
A mother’s body is typically riddled with the signs of bearing a child.
You may have stretch marks; on your belly, your thighs, and maybe your arms too.
A side affect caused by the growth of the child within you. The human child you are creating inside of your body. A head, the arms and feet. Toes and fingers. Heart, lungs, kidneys. Creating a new life.
Also, from the consumption of food that you feel you can’t control. Cravings so deep, that you can’t rest until you’ve eaten whatever it is that your mind had been obsessed with. This being, possibly, the only time in your life where you are given the freedom to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, because it’s benefiting the growth of your child.
Do you have c-section scars?
A permanent wound on your body, there to represent that you did everything you could to make sure your child survived. Because if they didn’t cut your baby from your body, your child could have died.
You could have died.
A battle scar.
Your breasts may not be as perky as they were prior to having a child.
Once filled with the gift only a mother can provide. Whether you choose to nurse, or don’t. If you have difficulty with nursing, or you’re able nurse with ease, it does not matter. Our breasts are filled with this milk instinctively, this is not something we can control. The pure fact that our bodies know to make this milk for our child once they’re born, is so amazingly beautiful.
Then your breast get so engorged with milk that they ache and leak. You feel like a literal cow.
I remember having such a hard time with nursing. I would nurse, or pump, with such difficulty. It seemed as though nothing would come out. But I would leak after a shower, the milk pouring from me, or soak the bra pads with so much milk. I couldn’t understand what my problem was. I had so much frustration and the feeling of being a complete failure.
Can you remember the way your breasts felt when this happened, when your breasts became engorged, large and hard? The sharp pains when there was so much milk in them and you knew it was time to feed your child.
The pain of allowing your milk to dry up when your where done with nursing, or when you just had so many complications, you decided to stop trying?
There’s just nothing like that pain.
Then they’re empty. Leaving us with empty breasts. Less desirable marks of our beauty and womanhood. But still a sign of what we were once capable of doing,
Then we have the healing.
Natural or cesarean section child birth, they both bring suffering that we have to heal from. The pain, the bleeding, the restricting lack of movement, and then the requirement of having to care for a new life, our family, and continue on with our regular lives.
We get a few days of allowing to heal in the hospital.
Nurses come in every few hours, making sure you’re doing O.K.
The nurses make sure that your baby is O.K. They also monitor you, making sure that you’re taking care of your baby. You have to notate the baby’s feeding times, diaper changes, and when skin to skin contact is being done.
Your family. The visits while you’re trying to get used to being a new mom. The photos everyone wants to take while your’re looking, and feeling, your worst. The attention the new baby gets, leaving you with the feeling that you’re not the one who deserves it after bearing a new life.
The excitement of having a new baby. The requirement of that new baby’s round the clock care. The realization that you have either just made, or that you’ve just added to, your family.
The responsibility,. You know have this child to raise.
And then you are sent home to get back to real life.
The process of bearing a child, the healing after, and then the raising of that child. It’s a journey our bodies go through.
For what you have gone through, you are beautiful and amazing, just the way you are.
The scars you show from childbirth should be worshiped for what they represent. Your breasts, empty now of the life giving milk your body instinctively made, are a stunning representation of the magic your body possesses.
The extra weight, caused by the incessant cravings you had while your body was creating life, now a constant concern.
Your body, that made that child, is beautiful. Your body, that created the miracle of life, is magnificent.
We shouldn’t have to be made to feel as if our bodies should be any different than the way our journey made them out to be. We need to be healthy in order to help care for our family, but the way that healthy looks, is different for everybody.
I want to be able to feel comfortable with the way my body was made, and what made my body, not the way that I think my body should look.
It’s astounding to me that the ability to create and nurture life, under such conditions, is so highly overlooked.
And, that motherhood is so highly judged.
There are all types of mothers.
Whatever type of mother you are, know that as long as you’re doing the best that you can for your family, you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. You don’t have to measure up to anybody else. Your children will love you for the life you’re giving them, even if they seem to favor their friend’s life so much more.
You are an amazing woman; a giving wife, a loving mother. A sacrificing single parent, or a strong woman going through IVF.
We are mothers.
There is no one more powerful. There is no more beautiful word.
Thanks for reading!